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Finance Jokes

Finance Jokes

| March 07, 2024

Why does finance always have to be such a serious topic? I've done the laborious task of reading numerous articles' worth of investing and financial jokes to find the best ten, and believe me; there were a lot of duds out there. I hope these give you at least a chuckle!

Top Ten Jokes

1) I recently started investing in penny stocks. It just made a lot of cents. 

2) The stock market is looking a little thinner lately. It's lost a lot of Pounds. 

3) What's the best way to make a small fortune on the stock market? Invest a big fortune. 

4) The most successful investor was Noah. He floated stock, while everything around him went into liquidation. 

5) The markets may be bad, but I slept like a baby last night. I woke up every hour and cried. 

6) My broker and I are working on a retirement plan. Unfortunately, it's his!

7) I remember being in so much debt that I couldn't afford my electricity bills. It was a dark time. 

8) Bob: "Thank you so much for lending me that money. I shall be forever in your debt." Harry: "That’s what I’m afraid of!"

9) Why should you never carry two half dollars in your pocket? Because two halves make a hole, and then you'll lose your money. 

10) Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money.
“I’m not paying,” said the duck. “I’ve only got one bill and I’m not breaking it.”
“I’ve spent my last buck,” said the deer.
“I sure can't pay,” said the skunk. “Getting here cost me my last scent.”

Want more? 

I know these made me smile! If you'd like to read more jokes (both funny and lame), here are the sources. Maybe you'll find some more goodies there. 


Think Advisor 

Forex Factory 

First Alliance 

Free Funny Jokes