Since everyone enjoyed the last blog post on finance jokes, I thought I'd throw together another one. Enjoy the following twenty jokes, gulp down another cup of coffee, and try to forget that it's the beginning of another work week. 

Top Twenty Finance Jokes

1) Why didn’t you report your stolen credit card? The thief was spending less then me.

2) Why didn’t the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel? Because it had more cents.

3) Why is dough another word for money? Because everyone kneads it.

4) Why did the fishermen get such a great discount on a boat? Because it was on sail. 

5) Why did the scarecrow get a raise? Because he was out standing in his field.   

6)Why did the architect refuse to work for the Pharaoh? Because he suspected the offer was a pyramid scheme.  

7) Why did the football coach get into a fight with a vending machine? Because he wanted his quarter back. 

8) Why don't Leprechauns ever have enough money? Because they're always a bit short.

9) Why isn't ten cents worth as much as it used to be? The dimes have changed.   

10) What did the comedian say when he robbed a bank? This is a stand-up. 

11) Why did the student eat a dollar bill? Because his mom told him it was lunch money.  

12) What has a hundred heads and a hundred tails? A hundred pennies.  

13)“Why is it a penny for your thoughts but you have to put your two cents in? Somebody’s making a penny.”—Steven Wright.

14) College is the opposite of kidnapping – unless you hand over $100,000, they'll send your kid back.  

15) What do you call it when a couple has to borrow money to pay for their wedding? A credit union.  

16) Why did the mortgage join a dating site? Because it was a loan.  

17)Why did the lobster refuse to make a donation? Because he was too shellfish. 

18) Did you hear about that one guy who won $500,000 in the lottery and donated a quarter of it to charity?  Now he only has $499,999.75.  

19) Sometimes my friends tell me I'm too cheap. But I'm not buying it.  

20) Why did the dollar go to therapy? Because it had too many issues with change!

Well, that's all for now! I hope this brought a little humor to your Monday.